"It is a good thing for an uneducated man to read books of quotations" (Winston Churchill).
"A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on" (Winston Churchill).
"A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and won't change the subject" (Winston Churchill).
"A prisoner of war is a man who tries to kill you and fails, and then asks you not to kill him" (Winston Churchill).
"A casual stroll through the lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove anything" (Friedrich Nietzsche).
"Convictions are more dangerous foes of truth than lies" (Friedrich Nietzsche).
"Hope in reality is the worst of all evils because it prolongs the torments of man" (Friedrich Nietzsche).
"He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you" (Friedrich Nietzsche).
"Do hammocks need power?" (Family Guy)
"I gave up hope for lent" (some comedian).
"Is it okay to drink when your pregnant, if your giving the baby up for adoption" (some comedian).
"Work is for people who don't know how to fish" (ATHF).
"Keep talking, I'm reloading my gun" (ATHF).
"Life without purpose is called humanity" (me).
"I don't know... those chinchillas are smart. They can order hookers" (Melissa Wright).
"I'd be a happy mushroom too if a dragon was humping me all the time" (Melissa Wright).
"Don't get old, it's not for sissy's" (Kelly).
"If you give a man a fish, he'll keep coming back for more. If you teach a man to fish you'll never see him again" (me).
"Don't [have sex with] Global Warming!" (Melissa Wright).
"He's gonna get ya, cause he's a gorilla and you're not" (Michael Logan).
"Intimate Dating is Intimidating" (me).
Best Pickup Line: "There is a monster in my closet, can I sleep in your bed tonight?" (Michael Logan)
"Electricity is th only energy... or air fire as I call it" (Michael Logan).